The Intricacies of Maternal Love
-An analysis of Amy Tan’s Two Kinds
The relationship between mothers and daughters is unique and especially complex. Misunderstandings and silent hurts can lead to conflict between the two, even where love exists. Suyuan and Jing-mei, mother and daughter in Amy Tan’s “Two Kinds”, reveal an inability to see each other’s viewpoints, which costs them greatly. Suyuan is a Chinese immigrant, whereas her daughter Jing-mei was born in America; part of their complex struggle exists because of this cultural difference. While she rails against her mother’s expectations, she discovers her internal strength as an adult. Also, she struggles to meet her mother’s high hopes in her daily life but never gives up hope of earning Suyuan’s approval. Furthermore, her interpretations of her childhood memories change as she grows into adulthood. As she reflects on her mother’s death, she realizes that her mother’s expectations show her faith in her daughter’s abilities. In Amy Tan’s “Two Kinds”, painful childhood experiences, understood in retrospect, transform judgment and expectation into actions of motherly love.
As a child, Jing-mei purposely disappoints her mother’s expectations to assert her individuality, misunderstanding Suyuan’s faith in her as a pressure to succeed at the highest level. “ Jing-mei reflects on her disappointing piano recital that embarrassed her mother: “I was so determined not to try, not to be anybody different, and I learned to play only the most ear-splitting preludes, the most discordant hymns”. At first, she had played along with her mother’s desire to transform her into a prodigy. However, her sense of constant failure to live up to Suyuan’s expectations kills some of her spirit. Although, the experience awakens other parts of herself: her stubbornness and independence. Jing-mei expresses her independence by acting in opposition to her mother’s wishes, demanding that Suyuan realize that her daughter will never be a prodigy. Because Jing-mei believes that she is innately mediocre, she views her mother’s disappointment in her as a personal success, which helps her deal with her lack of self-esteem. Focusing only on her mother’s expectations, she never gives herself a chance to grow or succeed. Later in life, she realizes that Suyuan’s insults and guilt trips about Jing-mei’s lack of work ethic were the only ways her mother knew to inspire her to aim for her true potential. After all, her mother truly believed, “you could be anything you wanted to be in America”. As Jing-mei started to reflect on her mother’s expectations and life history in China, she started to view Suyuan in a more loving light. More than anything, Jing-Mei, though she could not reach her mother’s prodigy expectations, wanted very much to earn her mother’s approval. She does not understand that her mother always loved her and wanted to help her succeed. Their frayed relationship stemmed from their cultural, historical, and personal differences, leading to mutual misunderstandings. Suyuan assumed that her daughter understood her rebukes as love as she intended, but Jing-mei interpreted her mother’s expectations and dreams s pressure and judgment. Jing-mei’s misreading of her mother’s intentions leads to her purposely making herself fail, asserting her independence through disobedience, a decision she seemingly regrets after her mother’s death.
The names of the songs “Pleading Child” and “Perfectly Contented” symbolize Jing-mei’s emotional transition from longing for her mother’s approval to understanding Suyuan’s decisions. When she played the piano again after her mother’s death, she “played a few bars, surprised at how easily the notes came back to [her]”. This represents how Jing-mei has come to terms with her relationship with her mother because the piano represents her mother’s forgiveness that she could not express in words. In the end, the very instrument that came between them in childhood was a vehicle for Jing-mei’s life experiences and challenges have provided her with a keen awareness of her inner strength and potential. When she plays the piano after her mother’s death, she is finally able to realize Suyuan’s unwavering, hopeful, desperate faith in her. After playing the two songs together, Jing-mei “realized that they are two halves of the same song”. She has grown from a pleading child into a contented adult. The first song was shorter and slower, with moments having a stronger impact, like childhood. On the other hand, the second strong was slower but faster, with the ability for the player to see from a broader perspective, like adulthood. These songs not only represent Jing-mei’s return to the piano but how childhood experiences look different as we mature into adulthood.
Jing-mei’s arguments with her mother represent an integral part of her growth. After her disastrous piano recital, Jing-mei recounts, “had been waiting for [her mother] to start shouting, so that I could shout back and cry and blame her for all my misery”. Their arguments are a result of the push-and-pull relationship arising from the expectations and different life experiences. On some level, Jing-Mei knows that she is her mother’s only hope, which represents a lot of love and expectation. When even her mother is silent in disappointment, she understands just how embarrassing her recital really was for her mother, destroying any faith Suyuan had in her daughter’s future potential. When her mother sees the Chinese girl on TV, ”’Just like you,” she said. “Not the best. Because you not trying’”. Jing-mei sees this as an expression of disappointment, one that will follow her all her life, while it was meant to show love. Actually, her mother was telling her daughter that she had the potential to be the best at whatever she chose if she put in the effort. During their arguments, both of them know and exploit each other’s vulnerabilities by causing emotional wounds, extending the pressure in both directions. Her relationship with Suyuan is difficult because she blames her mother for her inability to succeed. Jing-mei and Suyuan rely on generational conflict about aspirations to maintain their relationship.
Amy Tan’s “Two Kinds” shows the evolution of a mother-daughter relationship, where daughters grow up to understand their childhood memories in a better light and their mother’s expectations as acts of maternal love. Jing-mei acts contradictory to her mother’s wishes to show her individuality and as an act of rebellion. Also, the names of the songs Jing-mei plays at the end of the chapter signify her journey of emotional acceptance as she matured into adulthood. Although she and Suyuan may not understand it, a lot of their relationship is defined by conflict over generational differences. The bond between Suyuan and Jing-mei is intricate and thorny yet unbreakable, like almost nothing else in the world.